@cartoonAttorney Harvey Birbman Fictional cartoon attorney. Parody account. I love coffee and movies. Some people call me Phil Sweden

cartoonAttorney's neighborhood:

Slurs & ToS Breaches Nazi Dogwhistles Antisemitism Transphobia Anti-Blackness Homophobia Misogyny Groypers Proud Boys Patriot Front
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
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I have no work today so I slept in. Gm

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I keep comparing myself to others and it's making me more depressed

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Get down from there KITTY! 😡

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@QuetzalPhoenix I am ready to take their calls!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@liteblight Oh interesting! I got the movie on a special edition blu-ray I haven't opened yet. Has special edition cuts and the sequel too. Gotta get to watching these soon. I only saw the first movie and that was almost 20 years ago.

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Lol, he fired two jannies. He needs to fire all of them.

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@NotCheezHed @AC_Induction

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@AC_Induction This is you

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Tuesday is holiday (national day) so I took Monday off and now I have a 4-day weekend! Happy weekend frens

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM! Happy Friday

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@veryfraksie OKAY?!

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Dad's going into surgery tomorrow morning, hope everything goes well

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
This is what you get without an HOA. We have one place in our neighborhood that isn’t governed by the HOA and this is what we get as a neighbor.
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Oh look how late it is! Goodnight

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
tinder match opened with "you look so kind and harmless!"

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Eat -> still hungry Sleep -> still tired

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Without downloading any new pics where are you at mentally?
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Lawn mower started on the first attempt using regular gas station petrol that stood in cans over the winter
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GM. Maybe I am a little bit hung over today

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True dat!
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Friggin Ray Stevenson (titus pullo and the punisher) died... F

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM have a restful Sunday

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Finally feeling a bit better today. Going for a drive to celebrate. Gm!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Alas that these evil days should be mine

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Rodger @Caffeineposter
don't fuck with him, he's an OI (original incel)
Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@411rebyell Reads like something out of a Garth Marenghi novel

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Today is a holiday so today I can stay at home without technically calling in sick! Having covfefe

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Just saw a sneaky hedgehog across the street! Goodnight

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@PrimitivPatriot Oh

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@AC_Induction Not the one with me

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Watching the deleted RLM video

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
You wanna know the real tragedy about having sore throat? Coffee don't taste good

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@SwedishSpaceman Ubi sssh

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@liteblight @CarnivoreKing88

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@veryfraksie Noooooo

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@Lonevisualist We can jointly hate something else together

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@Retro_Omega_ @Sannic191 Microsoft when you click "ask me again in 3 days"

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@PatrynApu @AC_Induction @JohnFed1776

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@AC_Induction Me when I don't get my meatballs

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Hyped for Kittridge to come back from the first M:I movie.

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
#MissionImpossible #Sweepstakes
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NO CHEATING. Your last saved celebrity photo/gif is your therapist. Who is it?
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GM, it's "try to get a doctor's appointment" time

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Without downloading any new image, post your war face.
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM I'm sick today. Rest day

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@Frawgmama @lizzy_fren

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Sore throat and headache

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Happy Friday gang! Just a few hours left till the weekend starts

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
How do you even stop this I mean seriously??
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Got myself a new CPU

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Tired and stressed out. Goodnight

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
My speaking works better in English nowadays than in Swedish. Keep forgetting words in Swedish but always have them ready to go in English. Curios

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
"And the cat's in the cradle and the big baboon"

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Without downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Tired of everything.

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Not invited to any valborg party tomorrow

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
I had 4 cups of coffee today but now I'm craving another one? What to do

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM we working from home today

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
I look like this irl
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
"your honor, hear me out"
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@xLord_of_war Is it a movie version of this

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@AC_Induction in his tesla

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@MinqiB You can do it, minqi!

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@smolrunnrspottr Yay! So happy to hear it Sam

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
sometimes I'm depressed but then I see how I'm losing my hair and I get borderline suicidal

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@baltic_dan @NewWritePod It's the new Roman forum, Jerry

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@AC_Induction Yes!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@psycho_fren @CajunRacc I'm gonna take this advice to the bank! And make https://twitter.com/cartoonAttorney/status/1650495673362522113/video/1

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@xbtGBH @QuetzalPhoenix Me and my voices having a good time

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@ScipioApucanus

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@CarnivoreKing88

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@repeatedfails Hope you get some sleep, do like this:

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@HumbertoOG6 YESSS

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
SUNDAY FUNDAY movies today: First: Seagal's directorial debut, where he sets out to save the Alaskan wilderness from Michael Caine! Then: a Wes Craven airplane thriller, because what could ever go wrong on a plane?! 20:00 CEST, 7pm UK, 2pm ET, 11am PT https://cytu.be/r/FUNNYNIGHT

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
I did nothing this weekend

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Using a gif, what tv or movie character is the most like you in real life?
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Oh wow what have we here?

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I hope they make a variant of this for Europe, I would drive the shit out of one of those

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@classiflied77 Can't believe I'm not in the inner circle!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
No starship launch today

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
When your man doesn't answer the phone, this is what he be doing

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
People are out there traveling and I'm in my house all the time

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Why is she licking them

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Without downloading any new pics, post your war face.
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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@CozyTomNook Happy Easter, Tom!

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@repeatedfails Happy Easter, fren!

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@FrakesIsHome Wait those aren't CDs!!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Happy Easter everyone! Today on SUNDAY FUNDAY we're going for a drive in an awesome 1990 Tony Scott movie, then we're going to join Diane Lane, Michael Paré and Willem Dafoe in our favorite rock 'n roll fable! 🐣 20:00 CEST, 7pm UK, 2pm ET, 11am PT https://cytu.be/r/FUNNYNIGHT

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@FrakesIsHome Lmao

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM happy Easter

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"I'm WHAT-ified?"

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Survived the family Easter dinner! Now: scotch.

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@emmypilkington Congrats emmy!!

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Going to have Easter dinner with my family tonight. Y'all be cool. And Happy Easter!

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@ThatJudgeSmails Oh smails is back alright!

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@smolrunnrspottr I win

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@AC_Induction Because of me!

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@ThatJudgeSmails Wait is it really you

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First you might think, "oh what is this" but just remember
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@IWillNameThem Me having coffee whenever I feel like it

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GM it's good Friday, or long Friday as it's called over here. So no work!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Since today is practically Friday (4 day weekend just started!), who wants to go pub with me?

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Got myself a haircut

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Getting more responsibility at work now

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I am in bed and quite drunk. Gn

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Went out drinking. Actually talked to girl who was there alone, she enjoyed my company. Talked almost an hour before she asked my age and all interest disappeared. Apparently I'm old.

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM it's a sunny Saturday so I'm gonna go for a drive in a bit

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Tired. But tomorrow is Friday

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It's almost Easter!

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Tomorrow is Monday but I know we're going to make it. Gn

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Putting ananas on the home made pidser tonight

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Today's SUNDAY FUNDAY line-up: First, Stallone's masterpiece! The only movie where someone cuts a pizza with a pair of scissors! Then, another Frank Castle movie! This one has Tom Jane (good) but John Travolta (bad). 20:00 CEST, 7pm UK, 2pm ET, 11am PT https://cytu.be/r/FUNNYNIGHT

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM, it's Sunday innit

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Oh it's sunny and nice out? I wouldn't know, I'm playing the remake of one of my favorite games from 18 years ago

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
time to see if I'm a bad enough dude to save the president's daughter

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Twitter deleted my drafts. This is all I have now it's pathetic

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Justin Rickland beat the charges, Adriana! He never texted those cartoon girls or whatever, he was SET UP!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
his time will come

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I live my sheltered little life and that's fine, I like it

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@1S777n_ac_ks33 HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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It's Wednesday isn't it

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@chudnamedbud I don't know either but you did it man

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@whois_John_Galt Sorry I am NOT normal

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@punkroaster Same

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Uh oh I got 4,000 followers

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@lizzy_fren Will never forget

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@classiflied77 Mr Connecticut:

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
Paid the service center $90 for not being able to reproduce my issue.

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@Frawgmama Gee EM!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM it's Monday morning

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
@whois_John_Galt He must return

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@whois_John_Galt @elonmusk Welcome back alabaster fren!

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
It's Vigilante Time at SUNDAY FUNDAY! We check in on Frank Castle in 1989 and see if he can't mess up some bad guys. Then, Charles Bronson plays a New York architect who has had ENOUGH. 20:00 CET, 7pm UK, 3pm ET, noon PT (back to regular hours next week) https://cytu.be/r/FUNNYNIGHT

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
GM it's cold this morning

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Harvey Birbman @cartoonAttorney
I will go bed goodnight

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start of the pandemic // 3 years later
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Remembering this classic

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