A triple BLT, a packet of McCoys, a bottle of Lucozade and a Day Rider please mate. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1431951092737351681/photo/1
Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your Princess Diana Memorial flavour Panda Pop. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1429508410677026817/photo/1
Britain has a wide range of cities each with something different to offer.
Americans: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1424065894284734466/photo/1
When you had the money to buy Messi but you spent it on Jack Grealish and Harry Kane. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1423366622761340935/photo/1
Sitting on these in year 6 thinking you were royalty looking down on the peasants. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1422956747493412866/photo/1
My nan and auntie Pauline waiting to get their vaccines. Look how excited they are. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1422831055829098498/photo/1
Barber: “What can I do for you mate?”
Him: “Can I have the attachment that comes with the hoover please?”
Barber: “Say no more.” https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1420709728523587586/photo/1
All hail the British postie. Absolutely pissing it down and he’s still wearing shorts. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1420473378658570240/photo/1
“Stop rearranging the ornamental letters to make swear words.”
Me, an intellectual: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1419710487512629260/photo/1
All this talk of Branson and Bezos going into space when a man from Wigan and his dog done it in 1990 with a homemade rocket. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1417977202034069509/photo/1
“Too busy on their Playstations. What happened to playing football in the street?”
Every street: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1417956552787517444/photo/1
Chris Whitty: “Cases are rising rapidly. Removing restrictions could potentially be catastrophic.”
Boris: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1417210879188348930/video/1
Hard to believe this photo is in America (Philadelphia) and not somewhere in Britain. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1416883237092265986/photo/1
Proof that aliens exist and are using AutoTrader to abduct unsuspecting humans. Be vigilant people. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1416683254543958019/photo/1
I don’t want to alarm anybody but a massive sheep has just completely decimated South Wales. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1415975126806499331/photo/1
Let’s get one thing straight. No one ever found a £20 note in a packet of Walkers, did they? https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1414665938641764357/photo/1
“Dad, why is my sister called Rose?”
“Because your mother loves roses.”
“Thanks dad.”
“No problem, Gareth Southgate.” https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1413604270054727681/photo/1
Booing the Danish national anthem. Sterling diving for a penalty. Shining a fucking laser into Schmeichel’s eyes before Kane scored.
England against Italy: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1413201838049005571/photo/1
Who remembers sitting on that cold wooden floor in assembly, belting out pure Jesus bangers? https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1413107977154871296/photo/1
Why do I get the feeling these lads are about to drop the comedy blockbuster of 2021? https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1412141173938982914/photo/1
Only in Britain would you find a mosque, a bong shop, a sex shop and a Polish supermarket next door to each other. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1412101335101677571/photo/1
I think this porch is writing cheques that the mid-terraced house behind it can’t cash. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1410600973748248581/photo/1
I know I need to lose a little bit of weight but delaying my train is a bit harsh. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1410293682171957251/photo/1
When you’re eating in a restaurant and see Gordon Ramsay walk in with a film crew. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1409989658679914500/photo/1
You know you’re in a rough area when the local Co-Op has GPS trackers on the cheese. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1409958422150270978/photo/1
One of the benefits of speaking Welsh is that you can walk 2 minutes faster than people who speak English. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1409839264146333702/photo/1
Doctor: “When did your back problems start?”
Me, thinking back to my first science lesson in school: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1409464105082175495/photo/1
The postman writing a red card for your package after lightly knocking on the door once. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1409198738791411713/photo/1
I see Tesco’s plan of world domination is coming along nicely. They’re now taking over the churches. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1408755289696968704/photo/1
Just seen this on my girlfriend’s phone. Their customer service is like no other. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1408172062573740034/photo/1
As a fat bloke who loves a good BBQ, I am delighted that Asda now have designated parking spaces for my people. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1407315765007638537/photo/1
10-year-old me: “I’m never going to be one of those miserable adults that’s always in a bad mood.”
Me now: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1407301672943161344/photo/1
Take me back to when the news was reliable and you knew you weren’t being lied to. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1407248552489799682/photo/1
When you ask the missus if she fancies a KFC but she says there’s a salad in the fridge at home. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1406988151378350083/photo/1
When you’re in your mate’s house and you hear his mum shout “your friend can fuck off too.” https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1406914863314636804/photo/1
Just found out they sell 3ft tubes of Pringles in Italy. Get me there immediately. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1406650213046104065/photo/1
“Just a quiet one. A few pints then home to bed. I’m up early for work in the morning.”
A few hours later: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1405937773719310346/photo/1
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1404832281127174148/photo/1
You know you’re British when your school said these were temporary but were at the school longer than you. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1404148394138951692/photo/1
Nice to see these England fans enjoying the result and having a dance to some Status Quo. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1404098368113086470/photo/1
When your mate starts getting lippy with the bouncers and you have to drag him away before you get kicked out. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1403714474020851712/photo/1
You know you’re in a rough area when the local Tesco puts the cheese in a security box. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1403118396187742209/photo/1
Throwback to the time Pete Doherty was so hungry he ate a massive breakfast and his coat. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1402928471098245128/photo/1
When your mum is on the phone to a relative and says “Oh, he’s right here. Would you like to talk to him?” https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1402214759227957250/photo/1
Every day @Nestle have the choice to make the British public happy and bring these back but chose not to. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1401872436778475520/photo/1
Murderer in my house: “Autoglass repair...”
Me under my bed trying not to say “Autoglass replace.” https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1400161497624592392/photo/1
When you buy something for 99p with a £1 coin and tell bossman to keep the change. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1400153355519987712/photo/1
“What’s the WiFi password?”
“It’s on the back of the router.”
The back of the router: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1400146138964054020/photo/1
Throwback to the time Bear Grylls was stung by a bee and morphed into Benedict Cumberbatch. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1400144186020671496/photo/1
Apparently British people have no culture when it comes to food. Please explain this. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1400112936673218569/photo/1
Just seen Pringles being sold in a packet instead of a tube. I feel physically sick. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1399272847730790401/photo/1
Throwback to when David Beckham met Prince Charles wearing a sleeveless shirt and a durag. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1399094577806589960/photo/1
The Beast when he stops money going to Great Ormond Street Hospital and Cancer Research UK. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1397654578255077377/photo/1
When you're out for your birthday meal and suddenly spot a cake coming towards you and everyone starts singing. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1397200572718239749/photo/1
“What’s the WiFi password?”
“It’s on the back of the router.”
The back of the router: https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1396539591184769033/video/1
Will forever blow my mind that there were people cutting about in 1366 drinking Stella. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1395875814349094920/photo/1
When you convince the boss it’s a two-man job just so you can hang around with your mate. https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1395318858894950400/photo/1